Inverse Zitron: An Investment Strategy

2026-11-01

Imagine being wrong about almost everything you say. Mr. Luu went through 27 of Mr. Zitron's predictions and 25 of them are wrong. One is maybe right, and one can't be checked.

"A broken clock is right twice a day." Over the almost two years Mr. Luu looked at, a broken clock was right about 1,300 times. Mr. Zitron was right maybe once.

So who is this man telling us all this nonsense? He runs a PR firm. He yaps on a podcast. He wrote a book called This Is How You Pitch. He is pitching his bullshit to a lot of people, and they're buying it. He can't code, but don't worry: he plans to learn one day, "not so that I could build software but so that I can argue with software engineers." (Because of some Redditor writing BS on his BS subreddit. Marvel at the spectacle.)

He keeps putting out new posts and new episodes, doubling down. His podcast is called Better Offline. Couldn't agree more.

The crazy part is that smart people listen to this idiot. Cory Doctorow, who coined the word enshittification and shed light on a real issue (thank you, Mr. Doctorow), quotes Mr. Zitron in his new book The Reverse Centaur's Guide to Life After AI. AI apparently has, "to quote Ed Zitron, 'dogshit unit economics.'"

Mr. Ludic, whose writing I really enjoyed, had him on his podcast. There, Mr. Zitron promised that if he's wrong about OpenAI, "I will explain why. I'll explain at length. I will explain in detail." Good news, Mr. Zitron: you don't have to wait for OpenAI. You've got 25 others ready to go.

Mr. Zitron also keeps "detailed notes" on every writer and their "dumbest quotes." A kompromat file. The Soviets also spent seventy years predicting that capitalism would collapse any day now.

Then they get to OpenAI's money. Mr. Ludic says he's "not into the economic angle," so when Mr. Zitron writes that OpenAI doesn't really have the money it claims, he just takes his word for it: "All right, well, Ed knows what that means." Does he, Mr. Ludic?

During the podcast, Mr. Ludic also told Mr. Zitron he "should become a programmer," because he has such good characteristics, like not assuming he knows anything. 25 out of 27, Mr. Ludic. And then he explained that people should have some stake in the things they say, that being wrong should cost you something. He said this to Mr. Zitron. To his face. With a straight face. MARVEL AT THE SPECTACLE!

It's hard to disagree this much with people you used to respect. Like okay, someone I like has opinions I don't share. That's fine. But ignoring the facts this blatantly is like finding out Mr. Ludic believes the earth is flat. There is a line, and past it I just can't tolerate the disagreement anymore.

I've lost confidence that Mr. Ludic and Mr. Doctorow know what the fuck they're talking about. When reading them now I get the same feeling as from reading AI output someone else sent me.

So, to fulfill the promise in the title, here is my investment strategy: read Mr. Zitron, then bet on the opposite. Inverse Zitron. 25 out of 27. Show me a hedge fund that does better.

If Mr. Zitron predicted the sun would rise tomorrow, I'd buy a flashlight.